Sometimes you think that in order to overcome adversity, you need to be tough and resilient. The problem is that it’s framing it in terms of its fragility. Everything that is deemed unbreakable is merely stating that it is not fragile and can withstand a high threshold. However, this saying that it’s still breakable, it just has a high breaking point. You do not want your mindset to be defined by a breaking point.
The way to overcome this is to frame things in terms of antifragility. This is something that is not defined by its breaking point, but by getting stronger the more adversity you face.
Becoming a learner is an act of antifragility
When something challenges you. Learn from it. When someone tears you down. Learn from it. When you fail. Learn from it.
You learn by asking questions that help your understanding. If someone criticises you, ask them to tell you more. Own the conversation from the point of learning, not from a point of proving you’re right.
With all the other values that build your self-esteem, the only value that you should pay attention to is the value to learn. This is the gateway to everything.
Be okay being wrong
It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to be right. You may tend to seek agreement from others and turn on the defensive when someone disagrees.
There will be times when you are wrong. Be okay with this and be the first to admit it. That is how you learn. Failure is a path to learning, and being wrong is no different.
Other people will have better ideas than you. Give them credit. Celebrate in their success. It’s humbling. You will learn how to regulate your emotions as this will help you seek truth about who you are and what you’re capable of.
Your ego is the version of you that has wants and desires and acts before you get to think. Train your ego to be a learner. This means listening and asking for clarity—all while staying calm and focused on the goal of learning.